I've always been fascinated as to what my current generation would be known for or leave behind after we were no longer the pinnacle center fold of society's admiration and high expectations. What would the current "it" generation do during the "best times of our lives" that would leave a mark for future generations to marvel at. It seems that we have become the generation that is the cause and leader of the trending live fast and die young mantra. This goes beyond the "YOLO" craze that generations behind us are currently grasping to, as I believe we've actually done just the opposite of everything "YOLO" stands for. We aren't taking risks simply for thrills and enjoyment as I believe we understand that you don't live once, you live every day. Death is the simple finite conclusion to life that only occurs once, and its constant presence on the horizon doesn't bother this generation in the slightest.
In fact we have so openly embraced that the end is inevitable we have become obsessed with the living part… but at what cost?
It seems as though after several conversations, reflections, and introspective thoughts I've realized that mentally at merely twenty four, I as well as others in my surrounding age group are experiencing early onset midlife crises. We have become masters at cramming every life changing experience into our twenties because we have been told that this is our peak, our moment, and everything else is down hill from here. We seize every opportunity, dive into every moment as if it were our last because the internal clocks of this generation are ticking at a remarkably quick pace. Why? Because we, myself very much included, as a generation do not see a world or a life past fifty. Not only do we not see it we also do not want to see it. There is no desire to live gracefully into old age but rather to crash and blaze into a rapid end that will be remembered as such. In doing so we believe we will be memorialized in our eternal youth as trendsetters, innovators, experimenters tied in to failures and debts.
Unfortunately that is not how generations before us see our burning desire. They see us struggling and pushing forward and they are saddened for us. They can't understand why we believe that in our mid 20s we are unaccomplished and have already failed at life. What they see as just the beginning we see as half done. I sat down and considered that it is possibly a regional trend or quite possibly an issue that only involves those I choose to surround myself with. But after careful consideration and analysis I've realized that everyone within my age range that I've encountered from every walk of life is contributing in some capacity to the live fast die young mantra. We are all in some way facing a self created war battling against our own time restraints, in which we hustle at full capacity until we reach our burn out point. The drive and motivation is there but a sense of reality and patience is absent in our journeys. How did this happen? How did we become so used to feeling unaccomplished?
My theory for myself that may potentially be accurate for most is the false promises and pretenses that were created by what society placed in front of me during my adolescence. Everything seemed cut and dry, a simple process, specific steps to success that would be easily attained. I was always shown that education was the key that unlocked everything. Go to school, do well, and you won't have to work very hard after that. As a first generation child going to school in America I ate up all of the hype and wound up neck deep in one of the worst economic time periods we've seen. My piece of the American Dream that was offered to me so effortlessly at 17 had been ripped out of my hands by 21. As I proudly walked across that stage during the commencement ceremony, I not only had two degrees under my belt, but I also had no job offers, and a slew of student loan debt collectors knocking on my door before my degree was even in the mail.
Thats where the moment began for many, with a piece of paper that meant nothing but cost everything. A piece of paper that they claimed would change our entire lives, did just that, it woke us up to the reality of what we had to face in the real world. We didn't choose to the juxtaposition from college life to adult life, we were told we'd be prepared. And now with less and less opportunity many are stuck in "jobs" unrelated to their field, "jobs" that can barely sustain their meek lifestyles. That is not what we signed up for and as a mere sense of adaptation we have taken on the pressures of those much older than us. This generation has found it necessary to double up in which they do what they have to do in order to do what they want to do or like to do. It is an unforgiving world and we have relentlessly changed our whole outlook on what the world has to offer because the carpet has already been ripped from under us once before. We can not wait to see our dreams unfold in our 30s, 40s, or 50s. For us the time is and always will be NOW.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Chemistry, History, Safety Net
"There is a difference in who we long for, who we settle for, and who we are meant for"
I ran into this quote not too long ago and I began to think in a perfect world how amazing it would be if the person you want, meant for, and settle for were the same person. Unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world. It's a devastating thought to think, and even worse to admit to yourself whether it is in regards to a relationship or any other decision making aspect in your life that there is usually going to be a myriad of choices you could/ should/ want and ultimately make. No one wants to admit that they've taken the easy road frequently traveled by those who can not obtain what it is or who it is they truly want or know they are meant for. Too often decisions and choices are directly filtered into perfectly precise boxes without the realization that life isn't meant to fit into a specific precise perfect box, it is meant to be messy, you are meant to fight. You can go down the route that you are comfortable with and build your safety net, though deep down you know you will never truly be happy because you are learning to accept your decision rather than living your decision. There is also the scarier options of throwing yourself out on a limb in order to to grab what it is that you want or believe you are destined to have. But which decision is most fair to yourself and other parties involved?
Settling: When you've finally admitted to yourself that you've settled there are constant reminders that make it difficult to truly indulge in who or what you've settled for. I've heard many argue the fact that not everyone gets what it is that they want or gets their first choice whether it be with a romantic partner or the school you so desperately want to attend. Not everyone is bitter about what they have settled for and can learn to love the decision they have made. Of course this is true as humans with free will we can most certainly adapt and condition ourselves to being comfortable with our own decisions. Hell if criminals can rationalize their behavior we can certainly rationalize attending our second choice schools, and marrying someone who you are certain will love and provide for you forever. The only thing you must be concerned/worried about when settling is how it affects the way your legacy is told. When your story gets passed down from generation to generation will you be proud that "you made the best out of the situation" or "applied to only safety schools for fear of rejection from your dream school", or most heartbreaking "you learned to love your husband/wife over time". Is that fair to your legacy or the other person involved?
History & Chemistry: Usually those we settle for fall short in one or two of the most often used categories in determining whether this is someone we want/long for or someone we know we are meant for. These categories are "someone you have immense history with" and "someone you have immense chemistry with". They are often interchanged and can co exist within one person. The things and people you want or believe you are destined for often seem to have strong ties and connections that can not be explained. Yet we settle for those that do not possess these categories as strongly as others for many uncontrollable factors. You can have all the chemistry and history with a person in the world and still be unable to "seal the deal" so to say because of fears of failed attempts, rejection by one party involved" "right love wrong time", or "other" situations that prevent a full blown connection. So is it fair to put your life on hold and patiently wait for the person you want or are meant for to finally realize the same? Should you move forward and settle down with someone who initially makes you happy/complete while you still desire any fleeting moment to connect with the person you truly want?
As with many life situations there is no finite simple solution or answer. With any choice there is a consequence, every action causes a reaction. Sometimes the person you want isn't the right person for you. The person you think is meant for you could possibly be meant for someone else. And sometimes the person you settle for could be the person who saves you from your own destruction. With every matter of the heart you must think with your head as well. My personal opinion on the matter is deeply rooted in the following quote: "Unless it is a mad, passionate, extraordinary love, It's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them" At the simple age of 24 I believe in being my own safety net. I don't know where my thoughts, values, and opinions on the matter will carry me to years from now, but today now in the present at 24 the simplicity of my wants, and destined desires, lie strictly in a connection unmatched by anything else in life. It must make me laugh, make me cry, make me proud, make me happy, angry, make me want to be a better person, but most importantly make me feel infinitely alive.
I ran into this quote not too long ago and I began to think in a perfect world how amazing it would be if the person you want, meant for, and settle for were the same person. Unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world. It's a devastating thought to think, and even worse to admit to yourself whether it is in regards to a relationship or any other decision making aspect in your life that there is usually going to be a myriad of choices you could/ should/ want and ultimately make. No one wants to admit that they've taken the easy road frequently traveled by those who can not obtain what it is or who it is they truly want or know they are meant for. Too often decisions and choices are directly filtered into perfectly precise boxes without the realization that life isn't meant to fit into a specific precise perfect box, it is meant to be messy, you are meant to fight. You can go down the route that you are comfortable with and build your safety net, though deep down you know you will never truly be happy because you are learning to accept your decision rather than living your decision. There is also the scarier options of throwing yourself out on a limb in order to to grab what it is that you want or believe you are destined to have. But which decision is most fair to yourself and other parties involved?
Settling: When you've finally admitted to yourself that you've settled there are constant reminders that make it difficult to truly indulge in who or what you've settled for. I've heard many argue the fact that not everyone gets what it is that they want or gets their first choice whether it be with a romantic partner or the school you so desperately want to attend. Not everyone is bitter about what they have settled for and can learn to love the decision they have made. Of course this is true as humans with free will we can most certainly adapt and condition ourselves to being comfortable with our own decisions. Hell if criminals can rationalize their behavior we can certainly rationalize attending our second choice schools, and marrying someone who you are certain will love and provide for you forever. The only thing you must be concerned/worried about when settling is how it affects the way your legacy is told. When your story gets passed down from generation to generation will you be proud that "you made the best out of the situation" or "applied to only safety schools for fear of rejection from your dream school", or most heartbreaking "you learned to love your husband/wife over time". Is that fair to your legacy or the other person involved?
History & Chemistry: Usually those we settle for fall short in one or two of the most often used categories in determining whether this is someone we want/long for or someone we know we are meant for. These categories are "someone you have immense history with" and "someone you have immense chemistry with". They are often interchanged and can co exist within one person. The things and people you want or believe you are destined for often seem to have strong ties and connections that can not be explained. Yet we settle for those that do not possess these categories as strongly as others for many uncontrollable factors. You can have all the chemistry and history with a person in the world and still be unable to "seal the deal" so to say because of fears of failed attempts, rejection by one party involved" "right love wrong time", or "other" situations that prevent a full blown connection. So is it fair to put your life on hold and patiently wait for the person you want or are meant for to finally realize the same? Should you move forward and settle down with someone who initially makes you happy/complete while you still desire any fleeting moment to connect with the person you truly want?
As with many life situations there is no finite simple solution or answer. With any choice there is a consequence, every action causes a reaction. Sometimes the person you want isn't the right person for you. The person you think is meant for you could possibly be meant for someone else. And sometimes the person you settle for could be the person who saves you from your own destruction. With every matter of the heart you must think with your head as well. My personal opinion on the matter is deeply rooted in the following quote: "Unless it is a mad, passionate, extraordinary love, It's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them" At the simple age of 24 I believe in being my own safety net. I don't know where my thoughts, values, and opinions on the matter will carry me to years from now, but today now in the present at 24 the simplicity of my wants, and destined desires, lie strictly in a connection unmatched by anything else in life. It must make me laugh, make me cry, make me proud, make me happy, angry, make me want to be a better person, but most importantly make me feel infinitely alive.
"you I think you're super so much I had to pursue I don't believe the things they say or the football teams rumors…"
"...My im name is MsLuna you can hit me after six" ♥
-MJB
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