Thursday, February 14, 2013

If Not Now… Then When

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday…"
I must say with the whirlwind my life has become lately I'm becoming more and more accustomed to keeping up with life rather than blazing a trail and enjoying it. I've always told myself that once I started to complain more often than not about the challenges life possesses, that I was doing myself a great disservice.  With mile long to do lists, lesson planning, tenure preparation, and running errands it seems that I've spent every waking moment making sure I don't fall behind in what is expected of me. I've been out of touch with the small yet significant connections that connect me strongly to my humanity in its simplest form. While constantly running around with my head spinning, mind racing, heels clicking, or jumpman rapidly pounding the pavement my newest catchphrase has become "I don't have time". It seems I have ejected myself from social settings and events, and even the simplest and most therapeutic of activities such as blogging have become far and few. With not enough time for what seems to be every single life occurrence that may come my way, I have become a shadow in society rapidly allotting the most basic and minimal parts of me in order to capitalize on what has become most precious: time.  

What I've initially failed to understand is I am not the only person in the world that is busy, that has been busy, and I will not be the last. There is no uniqueness to my situation, rather more so an ignorance to the fact that many great important things can be accomplished on a daily basis once you take into consideration what is truly important. Putting such heavy value on every facet of your daily life leaves you physically, mentally, and emotionally drained by the end of that day. With everything's importance equally weighed it has made it impossible for me to keep up with myself therefore causing immense moments of defeat that lead to procrastination. I've always felt that having lists and being extremely organized would prevent the disease that is procrastination. Unbeknownst to myself at the time the exact opposite occurred due to the extremity of the schedule I created for myself.  
“There’s no substitute for being there. The power of being there and the power of not being there are equally enormous.”  
As I become more health conscious I've realized that I must also be more concerned with a holistic sense of health rather than simply focusing on the physical. I've realized that not having "time" for any and everything is undoubtedly taking me out of the moment, out of the "now", and most importantly taking me out of my life. I can not afford to lose touch with the important pieces that have helped to build and create the person I have become. In month two of the new year I slowly but surely have realized that I have turned my back on my 113th goal for the year which was to "be present and play more." It seems I've done just the opposite and taken on a load that may or may not be too heavy to successfully carry.  I end this blog clearly stating I do not have difficulties with work, as I believe hard work leads to opportunity. I've got a whole life ahead of me to constantly wait,  or to make plans and provisions, but I've only got right now to be in the now.  With great certainty I know I will not allow myself to procrastinate or  hinder being in the present and the now… because if I am not living in the now and embracing the beauty that is around me I do not know when I will I ever have the time to do so again.
       
"Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never putt off till tomorrow what you can do today"