The One

"What if the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with is already a part of your life… and you just don't know it yet"

              Though I am not a major believer in fate as I believe more so in the power of choice, I do take the concept into consideration for many conversations and arguments. The latest discussion surrounding the concepts of fate, chance, or choice revolves around the ever so interesting idea of finding "the one". I've come across many questions such as: "How do you know when you've found the one?", "Do you really think there is only one person out there for you?", and "What if I already have encountered the one but I just don't know it yet?". Since I am the exact opposite of a credible relationship guru or therapist I give the most honest answer that I can possibly think of: I don't know. People change, life happens, and many times "the one" becomes just "another one" in the continuous search to find "the one". However I am no cynic when it comes to the possibilities of finding that one special person as I have several prime examples of fruition from close friends, and most importantly my parents who will be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this upcoming March. I know that it is quite possible because I have seen it, but I do not diminish the difficulty in finding such an occurrence. 

             After several conversations I've come to the conclusion that there is no set answer or format to obtain what so many desire. There is no recipe to follow, and every person I spoke to had a different outlook on what they believe leads to a successful relationship. Of this I was already aware as I am certain no one supports their relationship in the manner that my parents do, or the way my best friend's parents do, or even my closest friends. What I truly found interesting within this line of questioning and discussion, in regards to this topic was with all of the varying ideals there was one thing everyone agreed upon: the idea that there is only one person out there for you. That means out of the billions of people in the world there is one single perfect match that makes all headaches, stress, and anger worth dealing with because the rewarding overall outcome makes all other people irrelevant. Anyone who knows me knows I've never been one for math but I have always been interested in the statistics and probability that define the likelihood of instances occurring. So I sat and ran with these numbers in my head before beginning this blog, and I thought about how mathematically challenging it is to find this "one" within a timeframe that allows for a lifetime to be shared together. 

             Some people begin at a much earlier time period with elementary, jr high, high school, and college love. Others stumble onto their "one" much later in life, which leads me to my final question. We spend our lives for the most part surrounded by people. Whether it be friends, family, acquaintances, co workers, school mates… we live our lives in  constant contact with people that have some sort of an affect.  One of my friends brings up the "friend zone" situation which is the cause of many issues when it leads to arriving at the destination of "the one". So often the people we are constantly encountering are the ones we overlook most often as a choice for crossing into a new category.  It is often a mixture of fear, disinterest, bad timing, and on occasion complete ignorance that prevents many possible beautiful outcomes from even beginning. We've all heard the stories of people finding true love with a person they have known for years as we have also heard just as many horror stories of how friendships were ruined because of a failed attempt. If all of mankind is truly searching for "the one" as I have heard they are, I do believe that this is a chance and a choice that should be taken equally by both parties involved if we are to statistically sway the bell curve into our favor. Unfortunately for the hopeless romantics I do not think fate has a thing to do with whether or not your true love ever makes it out of the friend zone, or whether you find him/her five years from now in a club. I think hard work and effort should get more credit for bringing you together with "the one".

                  We have people walk in and out on a daily basis, and I have a difficult time accepting that fate takes the time to push one of these people into my life as "the one" I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I've never been the type to think that something new is always better than something old so I very much believe that someone I've been building as a stable part of my life for the past 2, 5, 7, 10, 15 years could very well be the person I spend the rest of my life with. This is a choice that is made and developed it is not a disease that you catch over night. I could also very well meet someone tomorrow and choose to build the rest of my life with that person. Every thing is a choice and my overall view on the situation is at the end of the day you can choose to make every single romantic encounter bloom into a relationship with "the one" but if that person doesn't make the same choice this is where we end up with infidelity and the "all women/men are the same" attitudes. Be careful with your heart, be mindful of who you give it to, and be weary of labeling everyone as "The One" because forever… is a very long time. 

MJB        

Hip Hop: A culture dumbed down

Hip Hop: A culture and form of ground breaking music and self expression with elements that consist of the elements of graffiti, art, DJ’ing, MC’ing, and breaking.

We have come a long way from this definition and are now dealing with a newly found genre being disguised behind the title of hip-hop. It is safe to say every generation will have its highs and lows music wise that will spark the “back in the day”… conversation. The awful reality we must face is back in all of our days there was a healthy balance of foolishness and true art. We’ve transcended past the Mc Hammer/ Vanilla Ice days where the catchy foolishness was enough to still leave a classic appreciation for what it is they created. I find it difficult in this current state of hip hop to appreciate any of the “music” being created lately that strictly caters to the ladies hitting the pole on a nightly basis. I am by no means an elaborate feminist as I too have given in to countless songs that explicitly direct me to pop, drop, and twerk body parts on the dance floor. I will not stand to be a hypocrite in any sense of the word, but when you take into consideration the popularity of artists like 2 Chainz and French Montana in comparison to lets say a less vulgar more conscious Lupe Fiasco, its easy to see what this current generation wants to see, hear, and support.

And while there isn’t one specific person or group to blame for the destruction of what once used to be a beautiful art form I am extremely content with pointing the finger at the nonsense on the radio and the hype that surrounds it. You cannot spend an hour listening to the radio without running into the ignorant ramblings of 2 Chainz telling us how much he “love dem’ strippers”, or French Montana asking what I’m “twerkin’” with. We have reached a simplistic format that rewards a lack of talent and skill and promotes a hot beat, a catchy line, and a fat ass. Lets not get it twisted ignorance has been very much alive in hip hop from its birth and has always been acceptable to a certain extent. But for every “Baby Got Back” that was released we had twice the amount of “Brenda Got a Baby” and “ Fight the Power”. Moderation was the key to hip hop’s survival as well as the general consensus among the artists that they had to stand for something. Truth is conscious rap doesn’t sell the way it should, and it’s a sad realization for up and coming artists as well as the audiences they want to reach. We’re trapped: you either stand your ground and speak your truth or you sell your soul and dumb it down. “Shedding light and doing right” should be what is different… but instead its putting your “middle finger up to your competition”

It seems we have lost sight of moderate innuendos and landed straight onto an explicit platform that has single handedly sent us back directly into what society has always thought about our culture. Were no longer sending true expressions of who we are as a community, instead the “bling” gets shinier, the pants sag lower, and the skirts get tighter. Have we finally reached the end of what hip hop started out as? An outlet of self-expression, a journey from the struggle for acceptance that has now become big booty hoes and strippers dancing for bands. Is this what our culture is now based on? Is this what we want people around the world to label hip-hop as? Have we all just accepted labeling ourselves as cokeboys, and pimps? Or have we reached a new pinnacle, a turning point so to say in which we must leave the cultural past of what hip-hop was and embrace what we have allowed hip-hop to become?

Jordan: The Voice of a young nation

It is with caution and care that I write about the following topic as I am under great pressure to meticulously get all of the details correct. I hope I've made you proud...

If you ask people of a certain generation the birth of the Jordan sneaker franchise was more than just a new cool shoe available in the stores. From the moment of production the Jordan franchise became a staple in the culture of a diverse group of a young generation. Having a pair of newly released fresh "Js" on your feet became a symbol of status, and rebellion. You became a walking spokesperson for standing apart from the crowd and walking to the beat of your own drum. It became a part of the Saturday ritual to head out to your nearest sneaker store, get on line with the rest of your counterparts, and hope to God they didn't run out of the size you desperately needed by the time you reached the front of the line. That is and always will be the core of what the brand truly is about.

Unfortunately like many things in our nation, once society grasps on to the pure unadulterated quality  of what the product has to offer it becomes tainted and abused. The quality of what the Jordan brand was, has changed for all of us whether we are apart of the beginning, middle, or tail end of its newly found status. Capitalism is the foundation of what our country is built upon, and after years of slow transition the capitalistic nature of our nation has trickled its way down and intertwined itself into Jordan manufacturing, production, and advertisement. Jordan is no longer a staple of individualism or rebellion, but more so an acceptable symbol of popularity and status within social settings. Having those "Js" on your feet now means that you paid your 175+ dollars to fit in with your matching outfit, and it doesn't matter if you know the basis of where they came from.

Even the drive of the consumer has transformed from friendly competition to full outright business. We have people who aren't concerned with when or where the culture of the Jordan brand derived from, people who don't wear Jordans, and people who don't even know the magic Micheal Jordan created are all after them. Why… because money talks. It used to be people would hesitate to wear their Jordans on the block because they feared someone would steal them. That person would target you because they were unable to afford or obtain them themselves, and desperately wanted that particular pair. Now we have an increase in theft and death not only on the block, but right outside of the store because the after market re-sale value has greatly increased. It is no longer about the love of the sneaker and what it represents, it is now about the love of what it can earn you.

Money is now at the forefront, and the legend that made these sneakers more than just sneakers is often forgotten. So now with all of the news broadcasts looking for a finger to point and blame to pass, judgment is once again being placed upon the backwards thinking of consumer. The consumers that were just merely being born when this legacy was being built are apart of the problem. The corporations such as Nike that release a minimal supply though they know the demand is five times larger then what they release are also apart of the problem. The mom and pops stores that are struggling  that allow for inflated after market resale are another part of the problem. And even those who pay the inflated after market prices, which includes myself, are apart of the problem. With all of these problems where exactly can we begin to even search for a solution to the destruction of what was once a positive staple in the African American community.

It deeply saddens me to think that the new voice that Jordan has taken on will always be related to the profit and not the product. It will always be about matching that new fly outfit and how much of a flip you can make on flight club. There is so much history behind that symbolic jumpman, behind the color schemes and names that go along with each popular release. Jordan helped to build a prideful community that would share cleaning techniques, preservation ideas, and outlandish stories about avoiding damage. Where the Jordan brand once came from and where it is now are definitely not the same… but this is one instance where I hope the history of its does repeat itself.

#113: Be Present and Play More

                  "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation"

         Happy New Year everyone, I hope at day 5 we have all still maintained our resolutions and goals.   Personally I haven't made any resolutions this year, I don't even believe that I've made any resolutions in the past five years. I do however consistently use the month of January to compile my yearly goals that I work towards achieving by December 31st. I not only use the entire month to compile the list I also take a look back at the previous year's list to see what was accomplished and what is still left to do. Without fail every year there are always several goals left over that I fall just short of reaching. It isn't as depressing a process as it may sound, but more so a trip down memory lane and a learning experience.

I increase the amount of goals I'd like to achieve by one each year in order to always strive for more or better than what I've already done. So this year I have 113 slots to fill with dreams, aspirations, objectives, and goals. I have 113 different opportunities to reach out and do, feel, and think about things differently than I have before. I have decided that the goal I'd like to add into that new 113th spot is: "to play more". In 2012 I learned, experienced, and achieved so many wonderful things that have provided me with opportunities to further my long term career and life goals. The positive aspects however did not come without consequences. I found myself plowing through deadlines, meetings, and classes without ever coming up for air. Even in social settings my mind was often focused on the next bill I would have to pay, or the amount of sleep I would need to get in order to get up for work the next day. Being present in the moment was very difficult for me in 2012 as emails and text messages interrupted every aspect in the "living" part of life.

In the last few weeks of 2012 I sat down with three close friends on three separate occasions that think and live completely different lives. We sat together in moments of stress, relaxation, and holiday celebrations and at the end of each encounter I realized they were more alike than I thought. With wisdom beyond their years, they all subconsciously reminded me that plans and provisions shouldn't be the only part of my life. I was placing too much value into one aspect of who I am and painfully forgetting that I am deeply loved for who I am at the core not just the surface. The core of who I am  doesn't revolve around how many emails I can send or how many problems I can solve in one day. The core of who I am is wrapped up in experiencing everything life has to offer and losing sight of that would drastically change the person I am.

At 24 its hard for me to realize that taking myself or life too seriously hinders true appreciation of life and all it has to offer. I don't plan on losing my focus but I do plan on allotting more time to just live. My calendar doesn't have to be jam packed in order for me to consider myself as productive. Valuing the "oh shit" and "did that just happen" moments are just as important to acknowledge and celebrate as the planned successes and triumphs you achieve. My mental, physical, and emotional health must all be tended to equally and with the addition of more play time I believe I will be doing just that.


"it is a happy talent to know how to play…"
MJB