Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The importance of independence

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary"
-Steve Jobs

There have been many theories as to why my writing has been so sparse as of late. A strikingly odd theory is as a supposed tortured artist I can not truly connect with my craft while I'm in a state of unadulterated happiness. So I've decided to dig deep and pull out one of my main sources of happiness: my independence.
As a young woman in an ever changing world I am constantly bombarded with conflicting portrayals of what type of woman society expects me to be. I am taught to act like a lady but think like a man, drop it low, do it with no hands while constantly chanting that I undoubtedly run the world. For many females of all ages these conflicting messages prove to be too much to decipher accordingly. You see powerfully telling a man to kindly step to the left as you lead a powerful life as Queen Bitch at the top paints an awfully lonely portrait of a painful search for someone you deem to be irreplaceable. The alternate side of the coin reveals an unhealthy dependent nature often found in cult classics such as "Twilight". But where exactly is it safe to draw the line? Where can the balance be found? When did it become impossible to be a mother, a friend, a girlfriend, and simultaneously career driven. I have never been one to raise my fist in the air and scream for the progress that the women's movement has accomplished. I do how ever acknowledge the accomplishments that have been reached by those before me and the miles we have yet to travel. With that being said I think it is necessary to state that in the 21st century it takes a brave soul man or woman to put themselves first as a priority before taking any others into consideration.
As Steve Jobs once said, "you are born alone and you are going to die alone". While I am not sure if I completely agree or support the latter portion of the quote I fully accept the over riding theme of his statement. It is important to realize the importance of yourself in your own life. Let's get the facts straight as humans we are emotionally dependent creatures that need acceptance and approval from others. And don't get me wrong I enjoy a decent cuddle session as much as the next emotionally dependent person but self awareness is the key to preserving not only your sanity but your identity. Constantly playing into the wants and needs of another leaves you in a mentally unstable state. Taking the time to check in on what I want and what I need is a small price to pay to the person I spend the most time with: myself.

Until next time,
MJB

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