Tragedy: A true test of faith

                  In my brief twenty four years of life I've experienced many life changing experiences that have not only affected me but have also affected the world around me. We as a society have faced a great deal of tragedies and inconveniences together from the terrorist attacks on 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami in Japan, the earthquake in Haiti, and most recently Hurricane Sandy. And it seems that with each event we grow together rapidly offering each other a helping hand, and a shoulder to lean on. It seems that during these times our humanity is tested and we rise to the challenge effortlessly. We possess all of the faith, the prayer, and the strength during these times of devastation in order to uplift our selves while also uplifting one another. Its so easy to say a kind word to a neighbor during these times, but time always fades the memory of these moments and we return to the importance of our own lives.
                 Why is it that as a nation/world that is obsessed with examining tragedy we do not take the time to truly examine ourselves? What makes it so difficult to say good morning to your neighbor on a regular day yet we rush to their sides in order to ensure their survival during a hurricane. Are we so wrapped up in our own lives that we don't see that the big things are just as important as the little things. It causes great wonder and awe to see people putting their self to the side and being apart of society. It is a wonderful thing to hear words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers being sent out through phone calls, emails, texts, and other forms of social media. However we turn our backs once we've considerably done enough to get the ball rolling towards rehabilitation. I personally would like to thank all of the people that sent out kind words to me and my family after the damage we faced during the hurricane during the past few days. I would also like to personally send my thoughts and prayers to those who have been stuck in the dark, have faced damages lesser, equivalent, and greater than those I have faced, as well as to any one who have lost their lives and family members. This experience has taught me that no one is untouchable. And when the damages are physically repaired, the memories of this day have faded, and the affects of the storm have passed I will make an effort to remember that lending a helping hand should not only be during a crisis or state of emergency. It should be an every day part of life that I take pride in.

Be safe everyone!

MJB.TheOne

  

Friendship: The impossibilities of the opposite sex

I have done a post in the past based on the importance of managing and nurturing healthy fruitful friendships. There's always the give and take within the relationship that creates a balance. It sounds simple enough: you do your part you maintain the friendships you most value. But as of late I've encountered various scenarios within a timeless conundrum that males and females have faced far beyond a time period that I could think to mention. The paradox of male and female platonic relationships seem to be facing great scrutiny within my dogmatic group of friends and acquaintances. I have personally always been a fan of labels. I believe that clearly stating what something is or isn't is very important to the growth and health of all types of relationships whether it be family related, friend related, or a more intimate relationship. The major problem that lies within labeling something is the misuse or mislabeling of that relationship. This is what gives male/ female friendships a bad name, because honesty is not at the forefront of communication, but instead reality is blinded by false identification.
                As always honest communication is the key to any successful type of relationship. You can not move forward without stating exactly what it is that you want, what you want to accomplish, or where you hope to end up. That is the downfall for men and women who claim to be friends when they know there is more to the both of them. This lack of clear communication should not be a mental shackle that prevents us as a society from realizing that men and women can carry on a fruitful lengthy friendship without intimate or sexual tension. We have realized that after years of evidence that yes slavery is bad, racism still exists, prejudice and stereotypes are dangerous, yet we still can't accept in 2012 that a man and a woman can have conversations with out innuendoes or ulterior motives. Believing that a man will try and sleep with every female friend that he has, or that a female will allow all of her male friends into her pants is not only insulting but also quite preposterous.
              Everyone has had their own experiences and will think in a certain manner about certain things because of those experiences. The reality that is often too difficult for us to accept is: being wronged by one person, or having a particular situation occur once maybe even twice in your life does not guarantee that it is true for everyone else. I have heard many arguments that claim once a sexual encounter has occurred it is impossible to continue any form of friendship beyond that, or it will always be at the back of both parties minds. I have also heard that once emotions have reached a certain level or have the potential to reach that particular level that friendship is impossible. Personally I do not know any one to own a monopoly on the truth, or for all feelings to remain infinite therefore I can only go by what I personally see and what I specifically hear. I take the word of the person that I am communicating with as they are fifty percent of this friendship, and I take my friendships seriously. If it is a friendship that I want, that is made clear at the forefront, and this communication has been key in all of the male friendships that I have been able to maintain for 10+ years. I am not saying it is an easy feat, or easy for other people especially significant others to understand once they have a particular mindset in place. I do however feel that it is the duty of both parties in this situation to make it clear what is going on between them. There is no need to constantly defend the friendship, but clarification must be made for those living with a slanted mind frame. I've seen women and men get lost in intimate relationships causing them to digress from all human contact because of a lack of trust and communication on their part. The unhealthiness of this situation is not only crystal clear it should also be saddening to think that your friendships do not contain the strength to make it through the discrepancies and negative on look from societies judgmental eye.
                 In my short twenty four years on this planet I have seen and heard plenty of conflicting stories, experienced heartbreak, and lived to tell the story. This does not make me an expert on anything, nor does it give me the right to pass judgement on anyone's situation whether it be similar to anything I've experienced or not. I believe nothing is impossible therefore I believe a man and a woman can be friends and just that, because it is a life that I am living. And even if I wasn't, it doesn't matter what has happened in the past, doesn't matter who's liked whom, who's slept with whom, because the past is not where I choose to live. The only advice I can give is to be honest and label things accurately. If someone is your friend then that is what you call them. I do not suggest running around calling everyone a friend, or claiming a friendship when you know that it is more than just that. Be mindful of the energy that you put out there because it just so happens to have a way of sneaking back around to the source.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness: It is a word we are all familiar with. The mere definition or existence of this word is obviously easier than the actual action of forgiveness. What is it that causes forgiveness to be easier said than done? This indeed may be one of the hardest actions for our society to truly successfully accomplish. We are consumed in the mistakes of others in order to have something to talk about or point our fingers in judgement. It becomes an impossible feat to break the mistaken barrier once it has been built. We hear of the quote: "forgive but don't forget" constantly but is true forgiveness possible if the mistaken actions are constantly at the forefront of every thought or encounter? Can you let go of the feelings of anger if you can not let go of what caused the anger?

Personally forgiveness is a task I have yet to triumphantly truly accomplish whole heartedly. Though my own track record is filled with mistakes or choices I could've thought through further, I still find it difficult to accept the apologies of those who have made their own wrongful mistakes. Is it hypocritical to wish for forgiveness for your errors yet judge and refuse to do the same for others. Or is it a mere human attribute we must learn to accept? I've heard many defend their lack of forgiveness as a result of the capacity of the mistake. Rating mistakes on a scale seems to be another form of pointing the finger while ignoring the fingers pointing back at you. It's hard to accept at times especially when you are the  victim in the situation but all mistakes and errors are just that. And again this is easier said than done. I know in my own personal experiences there are levels within my mind that I believe that I would never be able to forgive as opposed to a lesser situation. This however doesn't fit the true essence of what forgiveness is in its purest form.

Though true forgiveness may be a difficult pill to swallow in the heat of the dramatic moment it is a necessary part of life that I am still trying to master. As I grow older I realize more and more that forgiveness is more so about yourself and your sanity than for the person who requires it. Forgiving someone doesn't require forgetting what they've done it allows you to lessen the burdens you carry within yourself. Constantly carrying around that hate, that hurt, and that pain will cause more issues for you than the other party involved. Carry on with your life one day at a time whether the forgiveness process is difficult it is a process you must go through in order to make peace with your own demons. At the end of the day you lay your head down with yourself and your thoughts… don't waste them dwelling in the past. Be content and keep your heard towards the future not stuck in the past.