Monday, August 30, 2010


So I'm up late and have an interview at 9am. Instead of surfing the emptiness of any "social networks" or forcing myself to sleep I decided to do something a little more productive.
What's in a Title? Some girls and guys feel like if a title is not given to the situation they are in then it is not real or should not be thoroughly respected. I have two opposing thoughts on the issue based off of many different experiences in the past. I've never been one to need a title placed on anything. I know who I am and don't feel the need to be defined by another. While being the "girlfriend" or the "wifey" is nice what does the title change? Does it add exclusivity to the relationship? Can adding a title actually place a curse on the relationship due to the fears and responsibilities that come along with it?
Some men and women operate better when the status of the relationship is left open ended. The behavior is there, the feelings and emotions are there but the official title is lacking in their courtship. Does that make what they share any less important than someone who has been in an official relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I have heard instances where couples have been together for decades and once they walk down the aisle and place that title of man and wife on their relationship it comes to an unfortunate emotional and highly financial dissolution. Does being your boyfriend or girlfriend make the kiss that much sweeter, the love that much stronger and the heartbreak that much easier?
Personally I have been on both sides of the fence and can say without a doubt that the necessity of titles is subjective. It all depends on who your with and how you two operate together. Some people need the security blanket of that title to perform their womanly and manly deeds as a significant other. Others know that whether or not they are introduced as a friend or as a boyfriend/ girlfriend that at the end of the day that person's heart undoubtedly remains with them through thick and thin. I once heard a good friend argue that "nothing will change by me asking you out so why do you need to be my girlfriend so bad". Unfortunately he was wrong and duped. With that title came great drama and issues that were not present with that title remaining absent. Whose to say it just wasn't a matter of time for the relationship to come to an end but the timing could not have been more off.
I have also witnessed another good friend suffer greatly because the title wasn't put in place leaving doubts, insecurities, and fears to cause minor deterioration in the already fragile state of the relationship. The addition of that title could save it from falling apart but is that safe/healthy? Does it have something to do with a timeline? After a certain amount of time is the title supposed to fall into place and just be assumed or should we remain in the 1920s and wait for the question to be asked?
My final thoughts on this topic after giving it much though and experiencing every aspect on the spectrum. Titles have the tendency to complicate a flourishing relationship that is blossoming into something potentially extraordinary. I do admit that after a certain amount of the time the flourishing relationship must go through deep conversation and careful consideration as to whether or not it is strong enough to sustain the hardships, scrutiny, and responsibilities of an official title. With that being said don't jump into a relationship because that is what will complete you. Don't attempt to solve your internal issues by being someones girlfriend or boyfriend. Live for yourself first and everything else will fall into place.


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